As we approach the end of the year, we start to get into the holiday season. Stores start selling Christmas trees and commercials show beautifully-wrapped gifts and smiling families. It’s a time that many associate to joy and comfort with their loved ones. Sometimes that might not be the case for some of us. Families are complicated, the dynamics complex and while society tells us the holidays are supposed to be a happy time due to being able to spend time with our families, that isn’t necessarily always true. With the holidays approaching, it’s important to remember that your mental health is still important and it’s okay if you can’t relate to the sentiments that we so often hear about around this time.
When handling holiday stress and family dynamics there are a few things to keep in mind. It’s okay to say no! Boundaries are important and they are still valid even when it comes to family. If going to a holiday family event feels like too much and you know it would have a negative impact to your mental health, it’s alright to skip out if possible or leave early if needed.
Have a plan B. It’s common to have a chosen family made up of friends that understand and support us. Having a plan with those loved ones that bring us comfort can be helpful to decompress and distract after a difficult family event. Before the holidays, it might be smart to reflect on what your self-care looks like and what people and activities bring you comfort. Have those ready so you can easily take care of yourself and you mental health around these times.
Though it’s not easy or pleasant, sometimes the holidays can be opportunities to have needed conversations as well. If you’ve been considering talking to certain loved ones about topics that have been on your mind, having the year to think it through and plan what you want to say when the end of the year comes around may be useful. It may be easier to have a difficult conversation with a parent or sibling knowing that other loved ones that support you are around and can hold your hand in the process.
Remember that holiday seasons are about feeling connected and supported no matter who brings that to you. You do have a say in how you want to feel loved and share the holiday cheer with. By thinking ahead and preparing your tools to help you get through this holiday time, you can set yourself up to be able to enjoy the holidays as well and share the spirit in your own ways.
Mindful Minute by Melissa Rojas, RCSWI with Counseling Associates of America, is dedicated to addressing mental health care and support for both individuals and couples.
